If you’ve stopped by The Spoon anytime in the last couple of weeks you know I’ve been watching Lost nonstop like Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange. Except I’m not being re-conditioned for anything – at least, I don’t think I am. Lost has made me doubt a lot of things about myself. For example, sometimes when I fart I’m not sure if it’s actually me or if it’s the “smoke monster” trailing behind my buttocks. And I can’t remember if I was the person who set my alarm clock to go off every 108 minutes and play “Make Your Own Kind of Music.” Yeah, I’m kind of messed up.
In any case, I’ll be breaking down each of Lost’s major characters according to my thoughts, theories, and occasional whims. Lost has a huge cast so I’ll divide this discussion into a few parts and post a new section every few days. Just to mess with you all (not unlike Lost), I’m going to write up the characters in alphabetical order and leave Jack Shephard for last.
[Editor’s note: this breakdown is getting larger than my last outbreak of hemorrhoids. Expect multiple posts]
[Cue opening Lost music]
Kate Austen – I actually “met” Evangeline Lilly several months ago when she picked up an order at the bookstore I was working at. Of course I wasn’t watching Lost back then so I didn’t recognize her as anything more than a short, cute brunette with huge sunglasses. However, my co-workers knew her and so while they chatted I just stood nearby and smiled and vaguely nodded whenever she said something. But enough of my eye-banging Lost cast members.
In the first season Kate was one of the strongest, take-charge characters and provided a nice balance to the otherwise testosterone-laden Lost cast. I’m no Susan B. Anthony, but I’m very disappointed Kate’s character has slowly morphed over the course of seasons 2 & 3 into a generally helpless piece of eye candy.
None of this should be pegged on Evangeline since she has continued to put in excellent performances by mastering the quivering lip and pained expressions so integral to a (emotionally) tortured girl on the run. I realize that sounds really sarcastic, but I assure you it’s not. However, I do question the writers’ decision to take the most established and “resourceful” female lead and make her 1) Get caught and beaten down so often and 2) resort to clichéd angry sex to fill the emotional void in her life. But I guess hot girls like Kate have needs even if the sensitive doctors they pine for are too blind to satisfy them. Can you guess who I want her to end up with?
I knew about Season 3’s flash-forward even before watching the final episode so some of the drama was lost (heh, heh) on me. I still really like this direction and it adds a totally new wrinkle to the show that should make for some interesting story developments.
The flash-forward shows that Kate makes it off the island, but since we don’t know exactly when the flash-forward takes place there’s still a ton of room to theorize. I’ll discuss this more with other characters, but any thoughts on who “he” is that Kate says she has to get back to? The automatic answer might be Sawyer but their current relationship doesn’t really account for the fear (?) or apprehension in her voice when she says this to Jack. Still, because the time frame for the segment is so unclear, virtually any number of events could take place to make any number of characters fit into that reference. In conclusion, I don’t have an effing clue.
Biggest Questions: Who is the “he” Kate is shacked up with in the flash-forward? Does she ever find true love? Is she preggers? (I don’t think so.)
For a chuckle, check out Evangeline peddle a singles hotline in her pre-deserted island days.
Juliet Burke – God I hate her stupid smirk. It looked sexy on Gillian Anderson but I want to send a running knee into her face every time I see Juliet’s lips curve into that damn annoying Ellen Pompeo smile.
Her smirk aside, I actually think Juliet is one of the more intriguing major characters in Season 3. She’s the perfect “wild card” since her back story shows a very powerful drive to get back to her supposedly alive sister (which I believe) and yet we still don’t have the entire reason why she’s still on the island, which makes her complicity with Ben Linus somewhat more believable. I just wish she would stop switching sides – and wipe that stupid look off her face.
Biggest Questions: What did Ben Linus do to make her so “loyal” before she “betrayed” him? Has she truly betrayed Ben Linus? And how the hell did she turn from a meek researcher into a kung-fu warrior?
Boone Carlyle – I have to agree with the decision to kill off Boone. Sure, he looked good naked (I assume) and he had that weird incestuous thing going on with Shannon, but he didn’t bring much else to the table. Even though I agreed with the concept of his death, I didn’t like the way it was carried out since it felt almost arbitrary.
I’ve read theories that say Boone’s death caused Locke to bang on the hatch and therefore save Desmond’s life which ultimately led to the “Losties” entering the hatch, entering the numbers, and then blowing up the hatch, and thereby saving the world. True. But Locke could have also tripped and fallen on the hatch while pooping in the jungle and the effect would have been the same so once again, I say that Boone’s death was poorly executed, pun intended.
Even Boone’s backstory, which naturally was intertwined with Shannon’s, felt separate and insulated from the rest of the “Losties.” I hope something incredibly relevant about Boone and the island shows up in another flashback/forward or else his character was merely one big plot device that wasted a bunch of air time that could have been used showing Kate skinny dipping in that pool filled with dead bodies.
Biggest Questions: Was Boone a complete waste of time?
[More to come]