The Spoon

Fun with Harry Potter

Howdy folks! Today's post comes to you through the furious tapping of my delicate fingers and the magic of my new iPhone. As a result, expect even more typos and incomprehensibility than usual.

As a bookstore drone valued employee I have the pleasure of ushering impressionable little children into the wonder and excitement of the last Harry Potter book which is released tonight at midnight. The following comments i may or may not say to screw with these children.

-J.K. Rowling wanted to vote for Bush but couldn't because she had already quit being an American

-Harry Potter's character is based on Hitler

-(to girls) harry hates quidditch but continues to play solely for the communal after game showers

-(to boys) Hermoine is a lesbian

-(to everyone) who here likes to party?

-in the last book, Harry and Rupert partake in the forbidden secrets of "the power of love"

-everyone can perform magic like Harry if they really want to. All you need is hope and crystal meth

I invite you to share your own messages to these impressionable, Potter-loving children in the comments section.