9.20.2006


Attack of the Poo Monster


Is there anything more frustrating/disgusting than a clogged toilet? This morning I spent nearly twenty minutes attempting to flush my bodily excesses down the tubes. As I write this, they continue to quietly mock me.
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened. Way back when I was about twelve I spent the night at a friend's house. I happily did my business and turned around to flush it down. To my horror, the toilet did not flush. Oh no, it did not flush. My friend later claimed it was the largest poo he ever saw. I couldn't look my friend's mom in the eye for at least a week.

Fast forward about ten years. I was at a friend's dorm party when I answered the call of the wild. Except there was no toilet paper, only paper towels, which some of you may know is a certain path to toilet cloggetry. I did indeed take that toilet to Cloggsville and spent the following half hour dumping overflow into the tub like a sailor on a sinking ship. I had to pull a MacGuyver in there to avoid a complete disaster and turned the rug into a doorstopper while the trash can became an emergancy bucket. I eventually contained the fallout, but nobody ever truly defeats a pluggled toilet.


Remember, flushing is like voting. Do it early and often.