The Spoon

Martha Stewart's Deserted Island Living

Being stuck on an island can make you go a little crazy, such as starring in a bad movie with a worse haircut

The deserted island scenario is no laughing matter in my mind. If Survivor has taught me anything, it’s that being stranded on a deserted island may help you lose weight and look better naked (positive), but it will also convert your body into prime residential housing for the nastiest fleas, gnats, and lice ever to explore a sphincter (negative). It’s therefore extremely important to keep your morale high. Being able to watch a movie on this deserted island (pretend there’s a Swiss Family Robinson contraption that can operate a single dvd player and tv screen and nothing else) could mean a quiet, peaceful death (positive) or a cruel, unhappy death (negative). It all depends on which movie you choose.

The following are my top five deserted island movies:

5) Groundhog Day
This comedy gem has all the components of a timeless flick, and it better if it’s supposed to keep me from going crazy and prancing around my deserted island in Speedos and boots. Bill Murray is on top of his game and his egotism is as refreshing as it is hilarious. Also, Andie MacDowell provides just the romantic spark that’ll keep me warm inside.

4) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Probably one of the most well rounded adventure movies in the last thirty years. One of the best leading men, ever, in Harrison Ford gives the Last Crusade the kind of inspiring heroism that can make every challenge seem a little more manageable. The lack of a “good” leading lady is probably the one element I’m not crazy about while on my island fortress of unwanted solitude. But this is the best of the Indiana Jones series and, “I even like the color.”

3) Singing in the Rain
I used to make fun of my friend for liking such a sissy movie. Then I saw it and immediately fell in love (platonically of course) with this fun, witty, and great sing-a-long film. I’m a fan of the dancing and Gene Kelly knows how to hoof around and he’s not a bad singer either. With the incredible soundtrack as my guide, I’ll also be able to stun pigeons with my caterwauling and keep myself well fed.

2) Roman Holiday
Gregory Peck is five kinds of smooth, but we all know it’s Audrey Hepburn who will keep me "sexually healed.” Yeah, that’s right. Somebody has to keep me satisfied and I choose sweet, innocent, nubile Audrey Hepburn.

Princess Jasmine has what the Arabians called "a nice rack"

1) Aladdin
I know I could watch Aladdin forever because I practically have. Growing up I was a little, how do you say, obsessed with Aladdin. But can you really blame me? It’s got humor, action, adventure and a fairy tale romance with a male lead that I can not only admire, but occasionally look like if the lighting is bad enough. And don’t get me started on Princess Jasmine. Plus, the songs and happy ending could keep me entertained and well-fed (read: confusing stunned pigeon reference) for a long, long time.

That’s my list and I’m sure yours is different. Please share your deserted island picks so I can admire your choices, or gently poke fun at them, whichever is appropriate.