7.20.2007

Fun with Harry Potter
Howdy folks! Today's post comes to you through the furious tapping of my delicate fingers and the magic of my new iPhone. As a result, expect even more typos and incomprehensibility than usual.

As a bookstore drone valued employee I have the pleasure of ushering impressionable little children into the wonder and excitement of the last Harry Potter book which is released tonight at midnight. The following comments i may or may not say to screw with these children.

-J.K. Rowling wanted to vote for Bush but couldn't because she had already quit being an American

-Harry Potter's character is based on Hitler

-(to girls) harry hates quidditch but continues to play solely for the communal after game showers

-(to boys) Hermoine is a lesbian

-(to everyone) who here likes to party?

-in the last book, Harry and Rupert partake in the forbidden secrets of "the power of love"

-everyone can perform magic like Harry if they really want to. All you need is hope and crystal meth

I invite you to share your own messages to these impressionable, Potter-loving children in the comments section.

5 comments:

Diesel said...

I heard that Harry is trying to get out of his 5 year contract with the National Quidditch Association by violating the morals clause.

Thanks for the link, dude. I'll get you added to my links in short order.

Matt said...

diesel - That Harry, just like a jock.

And thanks for the mutual linkage! Much appreciated.

G said...

I always had my suspicion about you bookstore guys. That's why I picked up the book for my daughter myself.

Matt said...

g- you have to keep an eye on us slinking bookstore folk. We're like a more literate version of carnies.

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