The Totally Random Horoscope
Just because I can, I'm introducing a new segment I'm calling, "The Totally Random Horoscope." These horoscopes apply to everyone and should without a doubt, never in a thousand years, ever ever ever, happen. But if they do, please tell me and make my day.

Totally Random Horoscope - 10/22/06

Reprinted for those without microscopic vision:
You will be in the company of several acquaintances whom you wish to impress. During the course of your conversation a small fart will escape your buttcheeks. In your head you will wonder if they heard or smelt your butt leakage. The answer will be "yes."