8.04.2007

Haiku to The Bourne Ultimatum

I just saw The Bourne Ultimatum last night and it actually provoked a physical reaction in me. Specifically, nausea and motion sickness. So of course I was inspired to write a haiku, though I should warn you that it will probably suck since it is my first attempt at poetry since that time I tried to rhyme "Nantucket" in elementary school.

The Bourne Ultimatum
By Matt

Spies fight, kill, feel sad;
My eyeballs also feel sad.

Chunks will be expelled.


All joking aside, The Bourne Ultimatum is a fast-paced, action-packed, hyphen-friendly movie that more closely follows the dizzying The Bourne Supremacy (also directed by Paul Greengass) than the slightly more intelligent first installment in the series, The Bourne Identity. It’s extremely light on emotion but delivers the action with fight after fight after fight.

Possible Side Effects to watching The Bourne Ultimatum:
Sweating, barfing, man-crush on Matt Damon


If you like lightweight spy thrillers and have a stronger stomach than me (very easy to accomplish) then you’ll probably enjoy The Bourne Ultimatum.

11 comments:

Fletch said...

You can't go wrong with a good haiku - heck, there's even a movie review site that reviews using haikus.

Haven't seen Ultimatum yet, but my wife gets sick with all the shaky-cam as well. Here's my pre-emptive haiku for you:

Want to see the fight
But shaky cam makes all sick
Paul Greengrass, please stop

Sadie said...

I'm going to see it today, I think...


I have another question for you. I rented "Premonition" and watched it last night. Have you seen it? If so, explain it to me. The very end. Cause I'm like, what?

Diesel said...

I had the exact same reaction. Couldn't they find a non-epileptic to hold the damn camera? And what was up with zombie Julia Stiles?

Other than that, awesome.

Fletch said...

I was laughing at Stiles during the movie.

Here was the direction Greengrass gave her:

"For this scene, I want you to stare at Matt - look slightly confused, a little scared and generally bewildered. Don't say a thing no matter what you do."

He then gave her that advice for every scene she was in.

Matt said...

fletch - I feel like my brilliant idea was stolen. I suspect that a time machine was involved.

sadie - let me know what you think. Mmm, I wanted to see premonition based on the previews but it went through the theaters too quickly for me to catch it. I'm going to add it to my netflix queue now.

diesel - Ahh Julia Stiles. I want to like her but I don't think she'll ever top her performance in 10 things I hate about you. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

Sadie said...

Yeah, you'll have to let me know.

And be my Netflix friend!!!! I'm sending you an invite. Plus, you'll get to find out my real name that way. Aren't you a lucky boy?

melissa said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose upchuck reflex was severely tested by the Bourne Ultimatum's editors.

Maybe it's all just a clever ploy to boost ticket sales with a nagging urge to come back, watch it again, and regain that climactic 20 minutes you lost while praising the Loews's porcelain gods? (After skipping dinner this time, of course.) Thankfully, Matt Damon is still hot.

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